I have gotten so tired of the negatives. Do you all get like that sometimes?

I am tired of being told "no". no you won't be able to go back to work, no your speech won't get any better, no you can't have your PEG taken out, no you shouldn't go to the gym, for a run. no you wont be able to eat steak and chips. All I get is no.

Well to hell with the negatives. I will be going back to work, my speech will get better, they will take my PEG out, I am going to the gym and running and biking, I will eat steak and chips. I don't know when I'll manage them all but I will. Some I already have.

What brought all this on? Sheer bloody mindedness, competitiveness - I don't know what to call it but I think we all on this forum have it. I wear a yellow band that says LIVESTRONG and like Lance Armstrong one of the things I told my self everyday after my surgery and through my radiotherapy and now was/is "get up" - this disease will not lie me down - I just absolutely refuse to let it. I will survive and I will live my life, as the man says "every second counts". I don't know how long I will do it for but then does anybody?

So be inspired, every second counts, and be blunt and to the point with those who are negative with you - you don't have time to waste with them anyway - you could be doing something positive.

NormS.

" it's tough being tough"

I agree with you Norm. We do need to pace ourselves, but we also need to feel normal.

Other people are more of a problem for me with feeding than I am to myself. I can eat many things as long as there is lots and I mean lots of fluid. I may not like it very much even with the fluid though and sometimes choose to leave a lot on my plate. Others take this as Pauline cannot eat. Not so, I just eat a little on my plate and very often, but differently than before.

People say things like you shouldn't be decorating or working on my web all hours as you are 'not fit' whatever that means. Well why shouldn't I? Doing things takes my mind off the spook and often I think they are alarmed I have more energy than they have and they haven't been ill.

One person even asked me after rads what I was going to do now the treatment had finished. what did she mean - I think she meant what was I going to do whilst waiting to die - that was 2 years ago - I'm just glad I didn't sit waitng for it and got on with something constructive in the meantime. Life is made of single days and they all add up.