My mum was diagnosed with oral cancer last week.Her options are (for best chance of survival) chemotherapy, surgery and radiotherapy.Next option is chemo and radiotherapy. To do nothing is not an option.There is a large tumour growing upwards in the bottom of her mouth. Surgery will involve removing bottom of mouth, teeth and 2/3 of her tongue. Understanably she is traumatised at the mention of cancer and the radical treatment involved. She is completely negative and Dad and I cannot seem to help. Unfortunately, she also has a phobia of doctors and hospitals. Is there anyone out there that can offer her some hope? i.e. someone who has undergone similar surgery and come out the other side? Thank You.

Good Afternoon S.T.
Being traumatised by the thought of cancer is not unusual,in fact it would be unusual if that was not the case. But we have to accept that one in three of us will experience some form of cancer at some point in life, usually as we get older.
Three years ago last week I had an operation to remove a cancer from my lower jaw, which involved removing two thirds of the jaw bone and making a replacement with a metal plate and bone and tissue from my left arm which was then repaired with more metal plate.All of the fifty odd lymph glands were removed from the right side of the neck. I was sixty seven at the the time.
I wont pretend it was all jolly good fun,it wasn't,but it was no where near as bad as my imagination lead me to believe. I was in hospital for two weeks and then I set about learning to eat and speak again.After this kind of surgery life is never quite the same again, things are different but it really is surprising how quickly one can adapt to a new kind of normality, when this is achieved things are "normal" once more.
It is very important for your mum (and everyone she comes in contact with) to have a positive attitude,this is not easy before the operation but two days after when she realise that she is still alive and things are not as bad as she expected she will start fighting again.She will need a lot of love, care and attention and above all understanding.She will become frustrated at the way she can not make people understand what she is trying to say, but this will improve with time, be patient.
I think it is very important never to ask "why me?" because there is no answer to this question and the asking does not help.
My operation was not quite the same as your mum's but it was rather more of a challange than having a tooth out! so tell your mum about this little old chap (who lived in Scotland for ten years) in west yorks who went through the mill and enjoys life to the full once more, as I said earlier things are different but there is far more upside than downside, I still enjoy a glass of red wine and a wedge of pork pie in the evening.
Use this website it will be a great help to you, if there are things you want to know ,just ask someone will have an answer.
A lot of people are now thinking about your mum,and dad and you, so please keep us posted. Very best wishes.
Keep Smiling
John

Thank You so much for your words of encouragement.We are visiting hospital tomorrow to discuss treatment and get results of MRI. I shall tell her your story John and hopefully she will start to see there is indeed hope. if anyone else has any words of wisdom I would be most grateful. Again, Thank You John for your kindness.

Well I am on year three after having large tumour removed and part of the base of my tongue.The pain is like hell on earth, but you can get through it. I had to on my own, and was told I would not be able to speak, but I proved them all wrong. Eating is difficult, ate tons of icecream, when throat is bad, to calm things down.Just keep asking us all what to do and what to eat, and everyone will support your Mother.Big Bear Healing Hugs

I had half of the roof of my mouth and upper left jaw and teeth removed and then reconstructive surgery 10 years ago. I am now leading a normal life again. All the best.