On reading my first lst post, I have left quite a bit out, it does not show what an impossible situation I feel trapped in. I failed to state my age - 48, smoker - yes, drinker - yes, good one. (since my own examination I have not touched either) I also did not make it clear how desperate I am to beleive my mouth is clear. He gave this clearance in the quickest of observation, and lectured me on the numerical probabilities - very sympathetically- he could see I was so scared. But I am far more scared and uncertain of future events now than ever.