hi dr vindod
is there nothing that can be done for mum i can't lose her she is my friend my buzsum buddy why did it have to come backit is spreading so fast and mum has given up if it is secondary cancer how long can we expect her to live i know the hospital doesn't know but if you could give me a rough idea this will be mums last xmas with us i hopei can't see life without her and she is not to get home how can i cope without her

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Dr Vinod K Joshi,

Dear Liz I know your questions were put to Dr Vinod and I'm sure he will be back to you as soon as he can. But just want you to know that I am thinking of you and feeling for you at this very hard time in your life. I don't know how old you are but I have a daughter who's 27 and she worries so much about me. As her Mum I want to say to her that if the worst should happen then I want her to be strong and live her life to the full - as I have done. I need to know that she will pick herself up and be the best person she can be, full of love, sensitivity and a zest for life, and that would be the greatest gift she could give me. Of course you will be desolate for a long time, but your Mum doesn't want to leave this world fretting about how you will cope. She needs to know that you will be strong, and you will be. Somehow we are given the strength we need to get through each day. I lost my Dad to cancer at Christmastime - make every moment special. We are all praying for you and your dear Mum - and let's hope she is able to fight this particular battle. Brenda x

Hello Liz

I am sorry for the sense of loss you are experiencing. Brenda's right. Make every moment special. No one knows how much time they have. You may find some of the advice given here on Grief and Transitions helpful. Take care.

Best wishes
Vinod