HI all,

Talked to Rod this morning, he seemes real discouraged about his weight. He is 2 months out of treatment and is just starting to eat foods other than eggs and soup. He still has the peg tube but only weighs 118 lbs. About 25 under what he was. I have read the tips posted here but does anyone else have any ideas? He said cold still hurts...like milkshakes and ice cream,wonder why? Is he being unrealistic and anxious, is two months too soon to be thinking about gaining weight? He is back to work, doing constuction, maybe he is burning up any calories he is taking in.Any advice??Please help! Thanks, Maureen

Oh Maureen can't you persuade him not to go back to work yhet. I know he probably needs the money like we all do but it is far too soon. He needs to slop around a bit. Get used, whether he likes it or not, to get something down him, ANYTHIONG every two hours.
One of the nicest sounds in my head is whn m y tummy actually rumbles to say it's hungry but that happens all too seldom.
nd do't be to ambitious. Tonight I minced up a tin of best red salmon with some cream and immediately threw it all up. Far too rich
Best to stick to the organic yoghourts, fresh eggs, chocolate muffins, any amount of blended soups. I make mushroom soup using a hbunk of bread to thicken it as there is no way I can eat bread on its own. And being British I find that a good mug of hot tea stimulates the taste buds more than coffee.Even decaf makes me cough.
Good luck and regards Ishbel

Ishbel,

Thanks for thr reply! I have tried to convince Rod not to work but he says he feels better and has some normalcy in his life when he does. He says he doesnt think about """cancer""" when he is working. I think he is over doing it and using up all the calories he is taking in, but I am not a doctor.He is trying to eat everything but he has very loose bowels and I am very afraid about that too. It has been 2 months since chemo so I don't think it would be that???Just grasping at straws here maybe the doc would know??Anyway I told Rod about trying to eat every 2 hours and he is going to try that. Thank you so much again for your quick relpy!!Maureen

Maureen, Oh my allready back to work, I cannot believe a doctor allowed that. Humm. As for gaining weight. I drank a drink called BOOST after my treatments. I drank one every 3 hours. Along with eating mashed potatoes and gravy. Scrambled eggs. And Ice Cream. I noticed you said that cold bothers him, that is strange. My mouth was always on fire so the cold really felt great to me. I think he should eat something every two to three hours. He has to get the weight back up to fight the bad that is inside...That is the best way I can put it. You have to be in good shape to fight this battle. If you are not eating, sleeping or resting, how can you fight, you are too under noursished, tired and fatigued to do anything. He said that working keeps his mind off cancer, mind you his cancer wasn't too busy to find him. These are things my family said to me, when I wanted to go back to work, hey it worked on me, I didn't go back. You need to stop worrying so much about this. Bless your heart, take the time to take care of yourself, okay. Your health is important too. Talk to us anytime...Please keep us posted on how ya'll are doing...always Vicki Lynn

Vicki Lynn,

Thanks for the post! I have tried to talk to Rod about rest. He claims the doctor told him he could work but I am not sure the doc knows how much he really is working. I can only do so much, I am starting to realize that. I am so tired Vicki from worry. Sometimes I don't sleep at night. My anxiety over this is terrible. Rod needs to fight harder to get better. He needs positive people around him and has none. He is fighting diarreha now after he eats. I don't know if it is his nerves or something else. I just pray he will be okay. He is trying so hard to gain weight. :banghead: He will see his doctor on Friday so hopefully we will know something then. Thanks for listening, I am having such a hard time with this and I haven't even been through anything compared to all of you! God bless!Maureen

Maureen, Yes you have been thru something like us. You are going thru it right now! It is so important to have postive people around you and him. My husband, God love this man, is the most positive person I have ever met. I tend to lose it at times, but not him. If he does, I have yet to see it. You, my dear, have to try not to worry so much. Worrying never helped anything or anyone, easier said than done. Rod has to take care of ROD. You cannot fight enough for the both of you. You also cannot do it all!! Unfortunalty the ball is in Rod's court. You worrying isn't going to make him better or you for that matter. I know I used to worry about everything. I mean everything and everyone. Finally one day I realized that things were going to happen rather I worried or not. I also had to step down off the cross and let the sun shine. I was always trying to do it all. I wasn't GOD. I can't do it all and neither can you. I have thought about Rod since my last post. He knows what he can and cannot do. The last time I had CANCER I also went right back to work. I went because of the money, the bills were stacking up. Also because I wanted everyone to know that I was ok, even tho I wasn't. I pushed myself so hard. I also went so my husband would stop worrying about me. Let him know that he can stay at home. That you can take care of things for a while or as long as need be. If you can do this that is. But if he wants to work, why not. He will know if he cannot do this. As far as gaining weight tho until the diarehha stops he won't gain any wait. Everything he is eating is flying out..Nothing is staying in. It is probably nerves. Maureen he is scared we all are. This has to be hard on a man. They are supposed to be strong and the man of the house and take care of everything. But CANCER doesn't care who yo are, man or woman. Ric, my husband, was telling me that he wouldn't know how to handle this if it were to happen to him. I have thought about you two all night. Take a walk. Or a long hot bubble bath. Try to relax some yourself. What ever it is you are worrying about will keep until after that,,,okay....Always, Vicki Lynn

Vicki Lynn,
What s nice post. I really needed that today. You really made me feel so much better. You have me pegged to a T though.I am a worrier and I try to control everything. I have been trying to control this cancer since the begining. I am very scared. See, Rod is my ex husband. We met when we were 13 years old and we were together for approx. 20 years all together. We both made mistakes in our marriage but the bottom line is I was the man in the marriage.I took care of everything.Rod was immature and still is.So I guess I am still playing the role. It is so hard to stop since I was doing this our whole marriage. We should have stayed best friends as far as I am concerned.I love him but not in a passionate way. It was almost like he was my child so maybe I enabled him to act a certain way.This is so hard sometimes. I feel so guilty like if I was still with him this might not have happened. I think he drank to hide his pain.Or maybe I would be there to take care of him. I cry all the time. I am in a relationship with a man like your husband. He is so positive and he loves me and he takes care of me. He also puts up with my care & concern of Rod and does not give me grief. He does get angry when Rod won't stand up and be a man though.David would handle things so differently.He is very strong.I just want Rod to be well and happy and I guess I am trying to make it happen for him and I can't.I pray alot and give this up to God but then I take it back. It is so hard to keep my faith! Anyway thank you so much for listening and for the nice post, it really meant alot to me and gave me something to think about.I am going to try to take better care of myself because sometimes emotionally I feel like I am falling apart. God bless you Vicki!Thanks again! Maur

Vicki, Also I am not sure if you saw my other posts but Rod and I live several states away from each other.So unless he visits all we have is phone calls and a very big phone bill! :banghead:

Yes I do remember now reading that, sorry. How are you doing today? How is Rod? Just try to keep a positive outlook on things. Like I tell everyone around me,,,I am not dead yet, so please save the tears for when I am. Now I want to laugh and visit and make memories. After all that is the one thing they can never take away from us,,our thoughts, our memories. On my Mother's monument, grave head stone, it reads on the bottom: Memories are One gift grom GOD that death cannot destroy, that is the most honest statement I have ever heard. My younger brother wanted that put on there so we did. Please take the time to love yourself as much as you do others....Always Vicki Lynn

quote:

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Originally posted by maur:
[qb] Vicki Lynn,
What s nice post. I really needed that today. You really made me feel so much better. You have me pegged to a T though.I am a worrier and I try to control everything. I have been trying to control this cancer since the begining. I am very scared. See, Rod is my ex husband. We met when we were 13 years old and we were together for approx. 20 years all together. We both made mistakes in our marriage but the bottom line is I was the man in the marriage.I took care of everything.Rod was immature and still is.So I guess I am still playing the role. It is so hard to stop since I was doing this our whole marriage. We should have stayed best friends as far as I am concerned.I love him but not in a passionate way. It was almost like he was my child so maybe I enabled him to act a certain way.This is so hard sometimes. I feel so guilty like if I was still with him this might not have happened. I think he drank to hide his pain.Or maybe I would be there to take care of him. I cry all the time. I am in a relationship with a man like your husband. He is so positive and he loves me and he takes care of me. He also puts up with my care & concern of Rod and does not give me grief. He does get angry when Rod won't stand up and be a man though.David would handle things so differently.He is very strong.I just want Rod to be well and happy and I guess I am trying to make it happen for him and I can't.I pray alot and give this up to God but then I take it back. It is so hard to keep my faith! Anyway thank you so much for listening and for the nice post, it really meant alot to me and gave me something to think about.I am going to try to take better care of myself because sometimes emotionally I feel like I am falling apart. God bless you Vicki!Thanks again! Maur [/qb]

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Vicki, also do you remember how long the sore throat lasts after tx?

Hello again Maur--or should I say guardian angel! You really are so nice they way you still worry about Rod and that you have sucg a sweet hgusband who understands.
Just a couple of other weight things as they come ibnto my head. Get him to buy a little sprinkling can of MEDIUM or even better MILD curry powder. Yoiu can't imagine how fed up we get of bland things and yet can't have anything really spicy. If he is eating his mashed potatoes and gravy, or blended chicken soup etc. tell him to try sprinking just about an eighth of a small spoon of curry powder and mixing it through. The difference is great.
TONIGHT i HAD CREAM CHEESE AND sorry caps ground black pepper over it. madness.Tell him NOT to do that! My throat is still on fire!
Keep it going and try not to worry too much. Oh, a good thing for diarrhoeia is to finely grate a raw apple and mix it with fine sugar. Might be difficult for him to get down but if is a good binder. lol
Ishbel

Maureen I have sent you a email,,,okay,,Vicki