I cant stop thinking about this girl whom I have known for only a litle over a month now. She is a wonderful person but:
She started off giving me signals that she wanted me to be more serious with her She is 32 and i am 28. She is really independant which I love and find so actractive. However, one day we got intimate with each other (gave her oral sex). The next day, she seemed worried that we were moving to fast and that she didnt like the idea of being to comfortable with each other (ie. hanging out at her house all the time).... Then she told me she has cervical cancer a day later when she was away on a trip... i have been doing research on the HPV and informing myself about the whole cancer thing ever since she told me. I now feel bad for her and at the same time I am somewhat confused as to why she wouldnt tell me about it before we got intimate. Should she not have told me about her situation before we got so close.

Hi,
Don't be too hard on your girlfriend. She may not be aware that about 50% of cases of cervical cancer are caused by HPV. She may not have HPV, and if she has may not have realised that she could pass it on.
She will be feeling very confused at the moment, and will be facing some quite traumatic treatment. She is obviously concerned about the two of you getting emotionally close, and you also need to consider this. It is a major commitment to help someone who is being treated for cancer, as you can see from many of the postings on this site. Many of the cancer sufferers on this site have been lucky enough to have extremely loyal and supportive partners, and this is not something that I think would be expected of someone who has been in such a short-term relationship. If you feel that you can stick with this girl and help her through her treatment. then good on you. But knowing how very bad tempered we can get with some of the treatments and medications, it would be very hard for you.
Sorry not to be of more help, but this is a moral dilema that only you can decide.

Hello softspot

While HPVs are now recognized as the major cause of cervical cancer, the vast majority of people infected by the virus are not affected. Studies suggest that whether a woman develops cervical cancer depends on a variety of factors acting together with high-risk HPVs. The factors that may increase the risk of cervical cancer in women with HPV infection include smoking and having many children. Recently, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) approved a vaccine that is highly effective in preventing infection with types 16 and 18, two “high-risk” HPVs that cause most (70 percent) cervical cancers, and types 6 and 11, which cause most (90 percent) genital warts.

You should speak to your doctor to see if this vaccine would be of benefit to you if you wished to continue a good longterm relationship with your girlfriend. Do remember the vast majority of men infected by the HPV virus do not develop cancer. Hope that helps.

Best wishes
Vinod