KP asked in email :

quote:

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My husband lost his entire tongue to cancer 2 years ago. He has no desire to go on living. You can imagine how difficult life has become. He is slowly dying inside. Because of weight loss, I believe the cancer is back, but he wont go back to the doctor, only when he has his feeding tube changed. I don't know how to cope with this. Please give me some suggestions.

Thank you

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Dear KP

Depression is often associated with cancer as one succumbs to the suffering experienced, a reduced quality of life and prospect of death. When we are at our lowest, we need the most encouragement and support.

Unfortunately at these times we can also be most difficult and not have the capacity to do what is really required to lift ourselves from the valley of despondence :ashamed: - to help ourselves by asserting our spirit's capacity to go beyond our body's infirmity.

I am sorry for you and would strongly recommend that you seek the advice and support that you need from professional counsellors with experience in dealing head and neck cancers. In the U.K. we have Macmillan nurses who are head and neck cancer support nurses who would help. I hope there is an equivalent service in the U.S.A. You will find some advice available through the links given at PATIENT'S GUIDE > CANCER GUIDES

I hope some of the Board members :help: will be able to advise you further as they have dealt with some of the problems your husband is facing.

Best wishes

Vinod :coffee:

I read the quote from KP's e-mail with great sadness.

It's just a little over 2 years since I had the total removal of tongue, followed of course by radiotherapy. As may be expected I can't take any solid food at all and therefore also feed thru a tube.

Since then I've been trying to contact anybody who has had the same treatment in the hope of comparing notes.

Once I'd had the feeding tube attached I put on a huge amount of weight, but I've now learned how to control my weight.

I don't really know what to say to KP, but should she so wish I would be prepared to let her know bits of my story which may sound to be very different to her husband's experience. I'd hate to start writing and perhaps inadvertently upsetiing somebody.

Oh dear what a sad story does it not len d weght to what i said counselling before and patient given time to decide whether to proceed or not it givrs me nopleasure to eread this sad tale and of course i can understand the wife and the husband there are some operations that are so horrible with the resulting side effects that certain people cannot cope with them but the medical profession steams on with save life at any cost well i dont believe in saving life at any cost there are those people who given time to deliberate and consider would say leave me alone although the lady does not induicate how old he is