hi everyone
vicky can i start by saying i am sorry for the way i spoke to you i obvisly up set you that is not in my nature so i thnk it is best all round if i leave again i am hurting people because i can't go and see my brother in hospital because it is still raw i love my brother and i didn't want him to have this cancer any more than mums cancer but i am obvisly wrong yet again in my decion not to go and see him so it best that i go that way nobody else get hurt by me take care
liz

Hi liz

I don’t think you upset anyone on the board. Everyone here is trying to help and they give advice as they see it. There is often no right or wrong way as every situation is different. So please please don’t think someone is upset if they have views that are different to yours.

You are always welcome on the message board, to use it when you need it. You have many friends here who care about you.

Perhaps others haven't yet read your reply posting to Vicki (click here) where you have tried to explain about your relationship with your brother. As I understand it, you do love your brother but just have problems in the way he treated your mother as well as the fact that you are in a fragile state and do not wish to be reminded of unfortunate memories. It's not always black and white and only you know the full story. I'm sure your decisions are what is best for you - which is most important.

Best wishes

Vinod

Dear Liz Please don't leave. Dr Joshi is right, we don't always know the full story and can sometimes react in different ways. You know what it's like if you put something down in writing - there is no way of knowing what the emotion is behind it - not like talking to someone on the telephone where you can tell what the other person is trying to say by the intonation or tone in their voice. When its down on paper sometimes you have to read it in different ways to get the real meaning. One thing I am sure of and that is that Vicki will not be upset by anything you have said and she wouldn't want you to be upset either. You have been through a very traumatic time recently and you know your Mum would want you to look after yourself. Of course you love your brother and you want him to be well and we all pray that he soon will be. Please let us know how you are and how your brother is doing when you feel up to it. with love Brenda x

Liz, Please donot leave the forum. We all need to be able to talk to each other. You spoke your feelings and I spoke mine. You did not HURT me. I just read your post and thought wow what if my family did that to me. I would have been crushed. TO have to go thru this ALONE. It was not meant to HURT you it was meant to hopefully shed some light on the matter for you. That did not work....If you feel you must leave there is nothing that I can say to change your mind. However remember this, you have made some friends on RDOC, I thought that I was one of them.....I need all the friends I can get these days...I will forever miss you and I will Never forget you ----NEVER... If you leave--then I will be hurt....Always Vicki

hi everyone
ok i will stay i have slept on it i feel a bit better this morning i got some home truths and i didn't want them no matter what he does mum wouldn't want me to do this to him my own baby eric who is 9yrs cried for the first time on saterday about the death of his gran with that on top of everything else i guess i snapped but i am fine now
so thank you dr vindod and everyone else for setting me straight
liz

Liz Thank the Lord for a good night's sleep. You are going thru a very hard time right now, with the passing of your Mum and now your Brother. It has hit your home and heart hard. We are all here to help you thru all of this as best as we can. You have to let us tho. It is hard when you are in pain. Isn't it? I would give anything if there was a magic word I could say to make this all better for you and your family. Unfortunatly we all have to go thru these things in life. No one said LIFE was easy, and if they did---they lied. I heard this saying once, All the family is gathered and laughing and happy and in that brief moment in time there is peace. Then you blink. Liz I have lost so many precious family members that it brings tears to my eyes. My Grandmother told me once that if you live long enough you will watch all your friends and love ones die. Cherish your loved ones for we never know. My sister just had to have a pace-maker put in. She just turned 50. Just this last week. I was frozen in fear of losing her. I mean frozen. We lost our Father to heart disease. He passed away at the age of only 48 years young. So when she developed heart troubles we were all in a panic. Thinking the very worse for her. Which was not at all fair to her because they have come such a long way with cures since Daddy passed away. She told me that she was so scared that all she could do was cry. And that is something that she rarely does,,,,cry. I wish all this would just go away and leave us alone. So we could all enjoy LIFE. I am going on and on don't really know why. LOL...Thanks for letting me....Always, Vicki Lynn

hi everyone
i guess i am just scared more than anything now my brother jim has it am i going to lose him too in the same way mum survived her cancer op but died 7 month later is it going to be the sam with jim he is going through him operation right now as i write this my gutts are wrenching i know he will survive the op he better can't think right now i will post later when i know more about my brother