this is a joke that i was told years ago,i know these sort of jokes are politically incorrect these days so here's hoping i dont offend any of you.

an englishman irishman and scotsman were captured by a savage tribe of cannibals in darkest africa.
they told them that they were all going to be killed and eaten.they said to the englishman you can have a last request before you die,what would you like?a cigarette said the englishman,they gave him a cigarette when finished it,they killed him skinned him and boiled him and made a canoe out of his skin. whilst the other two looked on in horror.
they said to the scotsman what is your last request?i would like a scotch to give me some courage said the scotsman,he drank the scotch they killed him skinned him and boiled him and made a canoe out of his skin.while the irishman looked on in horror.so now it was the irishmans turn.what is your last request they said to him?i would like a fork,they gave him a fork and he proceded to stab himself all over,the tribe looked on very bewildered and the irishman said your not making a bloody canoe out of me!love shirl xxx