Sean Connery was interviewd by Michael Parkinson, and bragged that despite being 72 years of age, he could still have sex 3 times a night.

Cilla Black, who was also a guest, looked intrigued.
After the show, Cilla said, "Sean, if I'm not bein too forward, I'd luv to 'ave sex with yer. Lets go back to my 'ouse, we could 'ave a lorra fun.

So they went back to her place. After a couple of drinks they went off to bed and had an hour of mad passionate sex together.

Afterwards, Sean says, "If you think that was good, let me
shleep for half an hour, and we can have better shex. But while
I'm shleeping, hold my bawls in your left hand and ma wullie in your right hand".

Cilla looks a bit perplexed, but says "Okay".

He sleeps for half an hour, awakens, and they have even better sex than before. Then Sean says, "Cilla, that was wonderful. But if you let me shleep for an hour, we can have the besht shex yet. You'll have to.......

I know Sean. Yer want me to 'old onto yer bat 'n balls again. No problem hun".

Cilla complies with the routine. Again, the results are absolutely mind blowing.

Once it's all over, they have a drink, Sean lights a cigarette and Cilla asks "Sean, tell me, this 'oldin yer balls in one hand and yer willie in the other - does it really stimulate yer that much?"

Sean replies, "No, not at all Cilla, but the last time I shlept with a scouser, she stole ma wallet!".

Naughty Naught Maurice.

Limerick

Camilla, your dress made me wince,
Chosen they say by the Prince,
Next time there's a do
Go for Turquoise or Blue,
At your age no yellows or pinks !

did you say beat it? I'll be pushed to equal it
Keep Smiling
John

Come on John, sounds as tho' the gloves are off!