Anyone driving in the wrong direction on a German autobahn is known as a "ghost rider".
The following telephone conversation took place:-
MOTORIST: route E5 southbound in the area of Oberhausen..... Ghost Riders.
POLICE H.Q: ghost riderS there's more than one?
MOTORIST: hundreds of them.
Keep Smiling
John

Thanks John I am still smiling, just!!
Glad to know you are still trying to keep my chin up.
Thanks loads
x

A Donkey's Tale

The local pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and it won again. The local paper read:

PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT!

The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not toenter the donkey in another race.

The next day, the local paper headline read:

BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS!

This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.
The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day:

NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN!

The Bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10. The next day the paper read:

NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10!

This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild. The next day the headlines read:

NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE!

Alas, the Bishop was buried the next day.

THE MORAL OF THE STORY.

Being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery and even shorten your life. So, be yourself and enjoy life. Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and you'll live longer and be a lot happier!

For you, Sue, hope you laugh!

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Some old and some new ones:

Two men met while both were looking for their lost wives.
1st: How yours look like?
2nd: She is 5"7, 36-24-36, Fair, Black eyes. What about yours?
1st: Forget mine. Lets find yours!!

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Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed.
He shoots his friend to death.
Wife says, "If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends".

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What is the definition of Mistress?
Someone between the Mister and Mattress

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Husband asks , "Do u know the meaning of WIFE??
"Without Information Fighting Everytime"
Wife replies," No, It means "With Idiot For Ever !!!"

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Three Feelings:
What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant,
Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, and
Panic is when both are pregnant.

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Teacher: u know the importance of period?
Kid: Ya, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got heart attack & our driver ran away.

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Women asked man who is travelling with six children,
"Are all these kids yours?"
"No, I work in a condom factory & these are customer complaints."

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Sons asks difference between confidence and confidential
Dad says, "you are my son, i'm confident. Your friend is also my
son,that's confidential!"

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Mother to her teenage daughter: I think this is the right time we
should talk about sex.
Daughter (Excitedly): Sure mom, tell me what do you want to know.
Mother Faints...

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