Jerry has went through radiation, chemo, removal of his voice box. He is still not getting any better. He is having a ultra sound done next Thursday because his blood work game back bad.

He is not urinating enough and his back and stomach is really hurting him. He is so depressed. He is only 54 years old and was always a hard worker never sat in the house.

I am just so scared that complications are setting in. I do not think I can handle that
I lost my Mom the day before Jerry lost his voice box. It is too much for me

Sorry I had to sound off to someone

Thanks Terry

Dear Terry.
Am so sorry about what Jerry and yourself are going through. I have only just joined this group, so don't know everything you are both going through. I am thinking about you and I hope you are not alone there. Love Michelle. x

Thank you Michelle

Hi Terry
What can I say- been there, done that, got the t-shirt etc.I know things don't look good at the moment, but try and hang on in there, sometimes its not as bad as it looks, and you do somehow come out the other side.Will be praying for you both on Thursday, hope its good news, don't give up, there's always hope, even if that's all that keeps you going.
Jennie x

Hi Jennifer,
I know you have been there, that is why I am scared. When I first found this web site it was like hey someone is going what I am going through. It really bothered me though when after a couple of weeks you lost Paul.

I do not want to loose Jerry, I really do not think I could handle it. I have been keeping busy all weekend. House work and yard work. Had Jerry take a couple walks with me.

I appreciate all of you writing me I will let you know how the tests results turn out

Love Terry

Hi Terry
I did hesitate before posting, as I know it will be hard for you not to draw parallels, but everyone is different, some of the people on this site have had awful experiences but they're still here, and trust me you will cope whatever happens. Paul is still with me, just on a different plane, but I can often feel his presence very strongly. Soon after he died I lost an important paper, and I told him to find it for me, went in the other room and it was in the middle of the floor!Just hang on in there you can do it
Jennie

Jennie, It just breaks my heart to see Jerry go from a man who could do anything, to where he has to struggle so much to try to do things.

My co workers tell me I am very strong but they do not really know me. When I am at work I am so busy I do not show my emotion. But when I get home it is a different story.

But I am going to hang in there and I really do not treat Jerry any different before he lost his voice. He has changed alot gets very frustrated, which I can not blame him.

I just hope that there is no more complications because he is so weak.

Thanks for writing. I really do hope you are coping okay, and your children.

Terry

Hi Terry,

I sympathise with you and Jerry. It's as hard as hell.

I've been in that chair: I had to call my wife to tell her that the lump we thought was a harmless cyst was malignant, and she watched me dwindle down from an active 95 kilos (I think this is about 200 US pounds) with two jobs and an active social life, to a 75 kilo (about 170 pounds?) weakling that sat around a lot, walked in a shuffle, and couldn't open my mouth or concentrate on anything.

I always felt that the radiotherapy team had a particular way of looking at me - they were caring but there was something else. I later found out that my case presented with a very poor prognosis, and the treatment plan they devised was seen by the team as the last best hope but they weren't at all sure it would work, and they'd never done anything quite like it before.

By the time it was over I felt as sick as I've ever felt - the tumor never hurt me, but the treatment to get rid of it sure did.

But that was then and now is now. It's now four years since I had my final session of radiotherapy. I'm still here, much recovered, living in a new home in another country, with my wife and looking forward to celebrating our 40th anniversary in August.

I have mouth thrush like you would not believe, and that gives me intermittent swallowing problems, though you can't tell from outside. But I've put on weight, retired from both my jobs (I'm about 10 years older than Jerry) and started a couple of new ones here in New Zealand.

And along with the medical team, the most valuable thing Jerry has going for him is your support. I wouldn't have managed if Sandra had not been there for me every day.

Every case is different because people, and diseases, are different. I wish you both well, and may the news change to be good, and better, than it has been.

Aroha, love and warmth from Aotearoa New Zealand

Philip

Hi, Jerry had his ultra sound done on Thursday the office said that his Dr should have the results later that day have not heard from them. I am praying no news is good news. Thanks Philip for writing. I will be here and will be strong for him, always.

Terry

Hi, they are sending Jerry to Dallas to have a skin graft done to make a flap on his esophagas and to put over the fisula as it will not heal on its own. I am hoping this will work so he will beable to eat again.

Hello Terry

The skin graft should help close the fistula. When is the surgery planned for?

Best wishes
Vinod (in Jakarta)

Hi Dr. Vinod ,they are going to do the surgery on 7-7 the Dr. said that the first surgery may not take so he may have to have a second one. But the Dr said that Jerry will be eating by his birthday which is in October.

I hope that it works the 1st time he wants some real food.

Terry