Is there any spouses out there who has a laryngetomee as a mate. Need to speak to you. I am very scared.

hello terry
my name is barbara my partner is a laryngetomee he had his voice box removed oct 2003 if i can help you i will

Hi Barbara,
I appreciate you writing. How is you partner doing? Jerry is not doing very well. He was after they took the tumour from his voice box. But then he developed this fistula which we have had alot of complications.

I have come to believe he has given up and it makes my heart hurt.

Terry

Terry:

I'm 3 weeks new to this. My mate had surgery just recently. It's been tough going, but I'M WILLING TO HELP

As I said earlier, my mate just had his voie box femoved on the 10th of this month. 46 yrs. of age. Had 36 Rad. treatments and it reappeared last month. Went in for a explporatory, and learned the cancer returned. Imagine my pain when he woke up and I had to tell him that it was back. That the stoma was permanent. Well, he lasted only 9 days in the hospital. came home and talk about a rapid recovery. Drinking water for the first time in 2 weeks and has such a will to fight this. I wish everybody's case was such as mine. One of the lucky ones. Oh, I'm not fooling myself. The road ahead will be hard, life-style changes. But....I'm coping & hoping!
Terry, I went back on this forum several times and read your heartache. I pray life shines some sunshine your way.

Kathie

hi terry
eddie is doing fine at the moment he get a lot of swelling under neck and redness that get him down a bit eddie had his op on 30th/10/2003 he has his problems as so have others when did jerry have his you know me and eddie take it one day at a time and we face each thing as it comes the thing is not to give up and keep talking be there for each other it hard yes but you can do it and it will get better try to keep smiling
barbara

Terry, I had my voice box removed in sep96 and by oct,15,96, I was back at full time work as a cop, uniform, gun, throat sticthes and all. My kids supported me but my wife couldn't take it, so she left us and became a truck driver. enough said for her, but I just retired last year when I turneed 50. All that time, I still worked and cared for my three daughters untill they graduated from high school and 2 went in the military and 1 got married. I think of my condition as an inconvenience. I never gave up, neither should your spouse. I'm cancer free fron 96 and I still have breatheing troubles now and then, I will not give up. That's the easy way out. So take hope and i hope that your spouse see's the light.

Hi Donald,
Jerry did fight the cancer of the throat, but now he has a tumor on the skull of his neck that they can not remove. They are doing chemo to shrink to give him some releive and some more time. Your ex-wife is a real B#$@# to have left you like that.

We are dealing with the new cancer and trying to live a normal life.

Thanks for writing
Terry

how is Jerry doing now? What's his furture in this fight? Hope he's alright.

Hi Donald,
The Chemo has helped to releave the pain in Jerry's ear. He has his good days and bad days. He was a little excited today as he was using his new True Voice device it works better thatn the Servox he was not able to use all that well.
Hope is well with you.

Terry

Terry: I had one of those servox things. I got mine free from the phone compant along with a free ttdy(?) phone teletype things. That servox was like talking thru an electric razor. now I don't need anything to speak. I just cover the hole and talk normally. Well tell Jerry keep going and things will improve.

Hello Terry,

My name is Sporty and my mother is due to have have her voice box and lymph node remove on the 3rd of March 2006. The family is worried, stressful and know the recovery will be a long struggle and life style change. Though the help of members on the board I have been able to get though the days, night and weekend with a smile on my face and staying positive.

My mother has been strong thought the entire situation and the family is pulling from her energy and will to live.

I suggest to you to stay positive, feed off Jerry and keep his will to live high. Members on the board are a very important source for help. Please keep in touch and if you every need to just talk drop me a note.

I too am new to the board and requesting supports as well but I will extend that hand in friendship out to anyone.

Sporty

Hi Terry,

My heart goes out to you and Jerry, it is not just the patient who has to learn how to cope with such pernicious diseases. I looked up what a fistula was as I did not know, but I expect it is one in the lungs (BPF?). Not good nor is the recurrence of cancer.

What can I say? We are some months on from your original post Terry and I guess the prognosis is not good. If that is the case may I say that you must remain positive it is not easy I know but it is how we survive. I empathise with Donald as my wife took the best part of 18 months to come to terms with my new appearance and voice, it is not the most pleasant of procedures to be left with a permanent stoma, and it can be embarassing if you like I suffer from mucus from coughing and constantly have to clean in and around the stoma, but my family and workmates have accepted me as I am now: and that is what is important to Jerry. As Donald implied in his post to be loved even in the face of disfigurement and to know that you are loved is the greatest gift you can offer Jerry. We all must move on to our Maker, if you believe as I do that we have a Creator God, it is just a question of when and not being frightened of the inevitable. No one in this day and age should suffer unbearable pain whatever their afflication so fear of death, or more precisely fear of the unknown is the real problem to face. Love is the panacea and best palliative care treatment available and must never be underestimated. Jerry is still the same man he always was he is frightened of course he is, I would be in his circumstances, but I happen to believe that we have a better place to go to and that above all we shall meet again, promise Jerry that you will seek him when your own time comes if you can do this genuinel: do not patronise him, if that is not your belief then tell him that you will miss him but celebrate him after he has gone with all the memories that he has gifted to you over your married lives, that they are beyond the measure of price and he could have done no more to please you if he tried.

For yourself Terry remember life goes on and eventually the tears of bitterness will be replaced with tears of laughter as you can again bear the memories that I speak of with pleasure and not with pain. Those days will come to pass I promise you and I pray God's blessing on you both as you journey through this difficult and painful period of your lives.