Hi,
My brother had a full Laryngectomy at the end of Jan07. He lives alone in an isolated village in North Wales. (I live in Surrey, so not very close) I am next of kin, as well as his little Sister & All I can do is sit & "Watch" him get even lower & lower with depression & frustration as he battles on alone. He has plenty of neighbours that want to try & help, but when the help is needed, they are too busy or just do not understand what he is requesting or talking about (Trying to say). It has got to the stage where poeple cross the street to avoid having to TRY to hold a concersation with him. He feels he has been let down by a lot of professional people who do not seem to have been "Patient" with his frustration. I have had to sit & watch both my parants go through "similar" health conditions over the last twenty years & I am not prepared to just sit & watch another family member "die", again. I need him to be able to "Share" how he feels & what he is going through, with others who have "Been there, Bought the Tee-Shirt & have the Post Card"! This is one of the ways I feel will help him realise that he is NOT ALONE, & that there ARE people who he can talk to him, who KNOW how he feels! And they can give him that ray of hope, by chatting to him. So I feel that if he were to recieve e-mails from laryngectomee's, he would be starting that long climb up, rather than just falling deeper & deeper.
Ever hopeful, ANZ.

Hi Anz

Well it's surely a start if you get your brother to join this forum and to put his thoughts in a post as you have already done. There are a lot of compationate people that frequent here and many have first or second hand experiences of similar operations to your brother's - others are more than willing to lend an ear or offer advice.

I'm sure some people would also email him as you suggested - if you left an email address for him

Anyway - full marks for your initiative on posting this message - let's see how it pans out.

Meanwhile, you may send my greetings to your brother and tell him I said to buck his ideas up - and at least his little sister is routing for him, so stop feeling sorry for himself!

Kind regards - Pete

Hello ANZ,

If your brother does register he can communicate privately with any of us under the tools option of e-mail.

It is not easy to bare your soul to the whole world, especially if one is feeling low to start with.

I had the operation back in 1995, and still work full time in a position where I need eosophagal speech to converse.

I am fortunate people who are more manual labourers find that manual labour is beyond them, even I cannot do simple digging in teh garden wiothout exhaustion and becoming breathless, matter of muscles and movement.

BUt their is life after surgery so if your brother wishes I would be happy to correspond with him on a one to one basis as indiacted above.

I appreciate your frustration distance only adds to your sense of helplessness I pray that your brother finds a release to his own frustrations hoefully within this site. Simply passively reading the posts will give him the consolation that he is not alone and not "different", just recoevring from an illness.

Best wishes, Alan

Hi Pete & Alan,

I did not leave my brothers e-mail, as I felt it unfair to “Fill” his inbox with letters from unknown people and I had not told him I was “diving” into this.(not that it is any of his business if I decide to join this for my relief!!!)

It is all VERY NEW to me, as I usually only switch the Computer on to look in my inbox, write to a few friends & then I pull out again. (It is a bit faster than todays Pigeon Post ) So it was a very big step for me & I felt in his current condition, that it was not fair to “Spread the Word” without his permission!

I did “Chat” to him today, after sending him a prints of your reply & my original message, which he received in the post this morning. He actually seemed very pleased that there was somewhere he could turn to in times of desperation, but insisted that he was “feeling better today”, so did not need to join up!

Just a shame that he still does not realise that we all get ONE good day in every SIX!!!!

I just hope that he turns to this in his hour of need!!
Thanks, to you BOTH, for your words of encouragement & support. I hope he has made a note of this, for future use.
Regards,
ANZ

Hi Anz,

Glad your brother has good days too. I understand your problem of being between a rock and a hard place. You are doing what you can, I have said before cancer makes a victim of the whole family not just the patient. I admire your courage, Alan

Hi Anz, sorry im a bit late with my reply.I can fully understand how frustrating it can also be for you to see these things happening to your brother, my partner also had a laryngetomee in may of last year.I used to print off all the messgaes of support tha people here gave to me for martyn and I know he used to look forward to them.He is quite a private person and felt it was better eeping things to himself at times, but that also brings frustration.I will gladly give you my e mail just PM me and im sure martyn would gladly chat with your brother.
I noticed that your brother also lives in wales, snap!
Best wishes Az, Im thinking of you both