Hi Sporty
Been wondering how things were. The phone code made me smile, we had a similar one, because Paul could not talk for 6 months, we devised a code so he could contact me at work. Good idea to teach your Mum sign language, at first Paul tried to get us to lip read but got so frustrated when we couldn't understand.
Will keep everything crossed for you on the 2nd, tell your Mum good luck and she WILL get through this
Jennie Sankey

Jen, so how are you communicating with Paul now? Mommie said today, the sign language is out of the question, I'm to old for that but I will go with flash cards. She's so damn cute. Every prayer for mommie is appreciate.

The phone code is a start...

Good afternoon Sporty,
Thank you for your kind words.I find it very satisfying to know that I have been of some help, and the thank you makes it seem so worth while.I am sure that your other friends on this site will agree with me.
The next stage starts on thursday and,surprisingly, this is when you and your family should find time to relax and rest a little,there is not a lot you can do for your mother at the moment she is being looked after by competant professionals.
Please give my best wishes to your mother ,tell her that there is a little old chap in a small village in the north of England who is thinking about her.
Keep Smiling
John

Good Morning John,

Yes, the little old chap in the villages doesn't know how informative he and the other members has been to make my life a little smoother and easier for me to past on information to my family.

Thursday is the day that will change our entire life but we're ready to move forward and help our mother start her healing process. Thanks again for everything.

By the way, how are you doing these days?

hi Sporty
Unfortunately Paul died 12 months ago, he first had radiotherapy, then a laryngectomy, then chemo, but each time the tumour just grew back.He went in the hospice to be treated for depression and never came out, he fought so hard for a long time and then just gave up. Just before he had the laryngectomy he caught legionnaires disease in the hospital and was on life support for 5 weeks, I was twice asked to turn the machines off but refused, so he got another 6 months, not long enough but better than nothing. I'm totally convinced that the depression killed him rather than the tumour, I still believe that determination plays a big part in fighting this awful disease.
Jennie Sankey

Hi again
Most of the story is on the 'survivors stories' page!
Jennie sankey

Jenn,

Sorry to hear that Paul lost his battle and probable the will to live. So the Radio or chemo did not work and the tumor grew back. I hope after my mother surgery they get everything out and the cancer doesn't grow back.

Hello Sporty,

I have just today joined this discussion Group and I know that today you will be at Hospital waiting for the results of your Mother's operation. It is a dreadful time for your Mum and the Family but as yur Mum said she had no choice. I had the same operation on 8th May 1995. The first teauma to come to terms with for my family was the Stoma, neck opening through which all laryngectomee's breathe for the rest of their lives. I looked liked Frankestein after the op with staples around most of my neck if they stuck on bolts I could have auditioned for the aprt in a movie. The stoma takes a lot of getting used to, it was probably 18 moths before my wife came to terms with my new appearance. I fortunately recovered oesophagal speech within 3 months and was communicationg on the telephone withihn 6 months but everyone is different. I still maintain my job as a contracts negotiator so obviously cna make myself understood, but the sound of my voice is strange and even I can sometimes not make out what I am saying if I am recorded. I did a TV slot one time and they put up sub titles for me but mots people could understand what I was saying but you do need to tune in. If your Mum can't use this form of communication there are others and I do not need to cover my stoma with my thumb to speak whereas others do to get sufficient pressure in the oesophegus to produce sound. IN any event what I need to say is that although life for laryngectomees will never be the same it will be of equal quality to the life before. Be patient your Mum has to be, be prepared for the shock of her appearance after the operation, she may require radiotherapy afterwards as I did, but the one thing I needed more than anything else was to be treated just as normal. For the first few weeks I used pen and paper to communicate not a problem but it takes time, never assume that you know what your Mum wants to say let her write it and give her the time to do so. She will be offered electronic devices which may make her sound like Donald Duck, again my wife could not cope with that so I did not use it for her, but I did use it for others and we had a laugh about it. As I say try to treat your Mum just as before giving her ore time to communicate communication does not terminate with the operation I was using pen and paper the day I came out of ITU and smiling and laughing, because I was alive and could continue to enjoy my life. Your Mum will feel the same. O pray God's blessing upon your Mum, you and all whom you both love. Life is good we must all eventually pass on and be prepared for that to but this is not the time think positively I am sure your Mum will.

To the group,

Today is the 24 March 2006 and my mother surgery took place on the 2nd of March which took 10 hours of operation. Update. My mother made it though surgery with no complications and everything went well. We met her in the ICU and with the doctors and they said there was no surprises (mean they went in and the cancer spread to other organs) and they feel they got everything but Radiotheraphy will follow. My mother gave a "Thumbs" up. She stayed in the hospital for 1 week and at home with my family and we are taking care of her. The appearance as the group stated was something for me to get past but thinking about her giving the thumbs up to life help me to move past the staples and lern how to clearn her wounds and sucution (??) her open hole. The doctor has put her on soft foods and she's eating like a pig and have put on 10 1/2 pounds. She has an appointment for Monday to get lined for Radiotherapy and treatment to start on Wednesday March 29, 2006.

With the help of the family and my mother's strong will to live things are going OK just a life style change for all of us. It was so funny listening to her talk though the device. It sound like a razor.

To the group, I send my deepest thank you to all because without you I would not have know where to start and get though our issues. John & Jen you are heaven sent.

Just taking it one day at a time with "MOMMIE" and what every it takes to keep her with us we will do. Most of all...She's doing everything by herself...the will to live. I see how important that factor is now.

Sporty

Hi Sporty
Great news, she seems to be doing really well. How I remember that suction machine, the first time I used ours at home we found it had a fault on it, lots of frantic back banging to make him cough it up!Eating already is great progress, give her my best wishes.
Jennie sankey

Good Morning Jennifer,
We're tlking it one day at a time. She's washing herself, eating soft food, playing cards and dominones with the family. Just last sunday she start cough alot and said it feels like something is tickling her in her throat. She's not feeling any pain or anything just feels funny and making her cough. I called her doctor and he stated, she will have to get use to the new feeling and her insides are healing. Unless she's having problems breathing ...she's OK. One good thing is, she's cough things up herself. I have order a remote suction for her because when we travel to the doctor she coughs up and I can't suction her. Thanks for your blessings and I will past them on. But so far, t really have not been a struggle with mommie, she adapting as well as we are. We love her so much and she knows and feel the love from the family.

How have you been doing? How's life treating you

Hi Sporty
It all sounds promising so far, the coughing does seem to come naturally after a time, I only needed to use the suction once and that was after a biopsy cos Paul was still rather drowsy. We're doing ok, my son is 11 today, think he's had a good day. He had a party on Saturday which went well. I find it very strange being a single parent, but we're very supportive of each other and we muddle through.Has your Mum been given a device in her throat to speak or is she using the servox?( the microphone type thing). Paul just couldn't get the hang of it so he just wrote everything down, and I eventually got quite good at lip reading. The love is what keeps you going!
Jennie sankey

Hello Jen,
I know it's hard transferring to a single parent. Wish you and your son the best in whatever you do. My mother is currently using the servox (which sound like a razor). My mother has not had surgery yet to put the device in her throat since it has only been 2 weeks but that's the plans to have the surgery because the devices is so hard for her to find a good spot in her mouth or side of her throat. My mother is writing her butt off to us and the lip reading is becoming a "PROFESSIONAL". All in all, we are making it happen. She's scheduled to go get lined today to start Radiotherapy. I thought it was soon (2 weeks after surgery) but i'm glad it's happening.

Hi Sporty
It takes time but believe me she will feel much better, I am going into my 4th year after having voice box removed. U use a servox and the dogs cant hear me due to the low frequency of the device. So have been slowly learning how to use Espogue voice , my spelling is bad. But hang in there it will work out.

Hello LaBose,

have you had many difficulties with learning to cope with not talking or do you have a device in your throat also to communicate? You are so blessed to be hear with us. Please keep the fith and drop me a line anyday.

Peace,
Sporty