My husband Jerry under went surgery again last Thursday. The Dr's removed some muscle from his chest and made a flap over his esophogas and then did a skin graph over his fistula in his neck. This was suppose to help the constant oozing of fluid from the fistula and help him eat again.

He is still oozing from the fistula and very frustrated about everything. I think he is about ready to give up. Anyone been through this surgery?
Terry

Hi Terry
Don't have any personal experience, but several people in the group that Paul went to had had to have several tries at fixing a fistula, keep going you're doing a great job,it WILL get better!
Jennie

Hi Jennie
Thanks for writing, it helps to communicate with someone who has been through this. When we were in the hospital. We met this cute couple that were going through what we are and it really helped all of us.
They were a little older than us but we felt a bond with each other and promised to keep in touch.
Terry

Surgery did not help we have to do it all over again. Getting really stressed out.
Jerry is taking it out on me because I am the only person around.

Terry

Hi Terry
2 steps forward and 1 step back! Hopefully it will work the second time. It's hard being the 'anger' target, just have to grit your teeth and try to let it wash over you! Thinking of you, let us know when they are going to try again
Jennie

Hi,
We are going back to surgery on the 18th of August. I tried to get him in sooner but that is the first available date. The fistula is getting bigger and bigger and it is scaring me.

I tried talking Jerry into going and getting another opinion but he refuses to do that. I just thing he needs to get this taken care of now.

Terry

Hiya Terry.
I think this seems to be the general pattern.
Matt takes everything out on me, we love each other to bits but he can be so nasty at times, shouting and throwing things. It's really hard but I try to think, it will pass and he'll be back and we'll get through it. It doesn't make it easier but knowing it will pass makes it bearable. lol. I'm thinking of you and everyone. Love Michelle. x

Hi Michelle, Jennie also,
It is so hard to see what Jerry is going through. Beleive me I treat him like he once was. But we both know he is not the same person. He still shouts at me but no words come out.
Yesterday was hard it was our anniversary and most couples celebrate with Dinner. We can not do that at this time. Actually Jerry forgot about it. I really miss him.

Terry

Vicky
I am a lary. for the last 2 years . My wife was found to have oral cancer in april, she has refused surgery . I can't blame her, actually they want to do to her what was done to you. She has started a radiation therapy of a large dose 3 weeks in a row once a week . Tomorrow is her second time she is in great pain, lower teeth have been falling out from the tumor forcing them up. Sometimes I wonder what the hell did we do wrong both of us . I have got over being depressed from lost of voice, and then this happens to her, so wiped out we love each other dearly. I'm sorry I just had to write something

Hi Eveyone,
I think the problem is that friends that used to come around no longer do. Because Jerry does have to write everything down. Some can not read what he writes down. So he is very lonely and there is not alot of lary's here where we live to where he can go to get support.

So he has me to take it out on, I will be here for him.

I'm not afraid, I'm learning to live with it. I have come to realizie that I will never be able to do what I used to do. I'm not big and strong like I used to be. I've lost my communication skill's so what? There are other way's. After all the surgeries I may be able to use my artificial voice again. I Love my Wife and I feel sure she Love's Me. We, together will make it through this.

Hi Labose,
From what I see with what the Dr's did with the radiation and chemo, my husband Jerry should of went with the surgery right off the bat. He would not be having the trouble he is having today.
Terry

Terry,,, I didn't mean to step on anyone's toes..However it is a known fact that when we are ill the very first ones we lash out at is the one that is the closest to us..I meant that everyone--EVERYONE--needs to vent. I don't care who you are or what you are going thru--we are all human. I don't know who wrote--I am not afraid---B.S.--to that..Who wouldn't be afraid..I am in groups with all different types of people..Let me tell you this---if there is one thing that we all have in comman...it is fear...the next is PAIN. How could you not be afraid...Lord this is our life..This is our families, our children,,, our career's,,..Scared, HELL YES!!!The first thing we all have to do is admit it..Denial is a ugly thing..Yet we all live in it most of our lives..In some form or fashion..This isn't me talking this is facts...I didn't make them up--this is what I was told...Terry, I also know all about those "FRIENDS"--you know the ones that I thought we had..The ones that we did everything with for years and years...Now I never talk to or see.,..WHat is the deal with that....??We went from being the house that everyone came too--to the house that NO ONE comes too...We had the pool....So everyone came to OUR house...Not anymore..They don't even call to see how we are..Lonely,,,hell I was about to go nuts..I have never been---ALONE...I hadn't really ever thought about it that much either..I know I used to always say,,,I would give anything just to have one day without anyone in it....LOL....Now I have every day...It is just me and my honey...No one calls...No one comes over...Why I even have a phone I have no idea. I couldn't talk for about a 11 months after my surgery...It was HELL....It still is now--trying to talk &&&&& people trying to understand me....I have some to realize that I will never be able to do what I used to.....Well I am proud of you for realzing that fact....For me tho--realizing it and liking it are two different feelings....I know this as well---but I do not like it one bit...I can see that my posting upset you Jerry...I appologize for that...This is the reason I stopped posting the last time...I only say what I have felt, dealt with, gone thru,,,if the shoe doesn't fit----that is okay....I don't know how you yourself feels...I just know that if I were your wife---and you were yelling, screaming and throwing things at me...I would be hurt...No matter what the reason...I would still be hurt..Here I am working my rear end off trying to be there for everyone and this is what I get in return...I was just thinking about how I would feel if this were me instead of Terry...You have a wonderful wife and she is trying so hard to keep it all together..That is what this site is all about...Teaching each other,,,learning from each other...meeting others,,,making memories....Always Vicki Lynn

Hi Labose,
I think sometimes God is testing us. I hope you and your wife are doing okay. It must be so hard on you to be handling your own situation and worrying about your wife.

My thoughts are with your
Terry