A bride on her wedding night says to her new husband "I have a confession, I used to be a hooker"
"Actually, I find that a bit erotic - tell me more" he says.
"Well" she replied "my name was Nigel and I played for Wigan"

Elderly couple go to bed. 'You used to hold my hand in bed' said the wife, so hubby reaches for her hand. 'You used to kiss me in bed too' says the wife, so hubby leans over and gives her a kiss. 'Then you used to bite my neck' says the wife. At this, hubby sighs and gets out of bed. 'Where are you going?' says the wife. Hubby replies 'to get my teeth'!!!