A man's in a pub getting sloshed with a friend and throws up over himself. He says, "What am I going to do? The wife's threatened to leave me if I come home drunk again"

His friend says "Don't worry, just put a £20 note in your pocket and tell her that someone was sick over you and gave you £20 for the dry cleaners"

So he goes home and gets the expected reaction from his wife. Undaunted he reaches into his pocket and producing the money, tells her the story about someone being sick over him and paying him £20 to clean his suit.

She looks at him and says “But that’s £40 you have there”

He says, “Yes, the other £20 was from the guy who shat in my pants”



With apologies to Clement Freud who told this far better than I could write it!

Ewwwwwww!

(Most excellent.)

Mimi