He said . . .. I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it
She said . . .. You wear pants don't you?

He said . . ..... Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said . That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart.

He said . ... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said . .....Turn sideways and look in the mirror.


He said . . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
She said . We don't know; it has never happened.

She said...What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
He said . . . A widow.

He said . .. . Why are married women heavier than single women?
She said . . . Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.