Had my surgery on Thursday, they have basically done the same on my right side as on the lsft, (a neck disection) they removed my submandibular gland, lymph nodes and three small tumours, 1 of which had appeared on the original side, so the have made 2 incisions, I now look like a patchwork with 21 stitches!!
I find it very difficult to speak as my mouth and tongue are swollen.

It now looks probable that the radiotherapy will be done on both sides of my neck which I suspected anyway. I am just so sick of it all now I feel so down that I don't think anything else they tell me could make me feel any worse than I feel just now. My mould appointment has now been moved to Thursday and I see the consultant on the following Monday. I will keep you all posted

Tracey

We are all rooting for your Tracey. It's no surprise you feel weary just now - I'm surprised you can even be bothered to face the computer just yet! Be good to yourself - get lots of "R n R" Regards Brenda x

Glad you have another step behind you Tracey. ou must be feeling very sore at the moment but that won't last. Just think how positive you were about singing at your gig. I wish I felt so positive about the laryngectomy looming ast the end of the month.
The idea of not singing again--not that I'm a talented one like you, but I like singing==and joining in a good old blether, is quite frightening really. My children claim they were stuinted in their development because I always sung Cherry Ripe---hmmm I can hear you think--in the morning to make them flee the breakfast table and get ready for school. I am trying to think of it as another language to learn. Apparwently it helps the new speech if you can burp. At school I never could and was envious of my friends who could burp at will!
Hope things soon happen to cheer you up, Tracey. All the best. Ishbel

Dear Tracey,
Hope you soon feel better. You are a brave lass when I think of your determination to do that gig.
Happy New Year and everything nice.
Regards Ishbel. (This computer is going mad tonight. I sent you a really long letter five minutes ago but when I pressed the Post thing an Error message came on rejecting it and saying that another identical message had been sent by me. Which is doolally unless I am bewitched. I.

Thanx Ishbel
Your thoughts are appreciated, I must say when I hear about yourself and others on this forum I should give myself a shake, there are worse off than me, I know it has only been a couple of days, I am so tired, I think I will be going back to bed for a lie down after this, thats all I seem to do at the moment.

You have been so brave Ishbel, where do you find the strength from?

Tracey

Hi Everyone

The biobsy results came back clear on the right side of my neck
I will have my radiotherapy on the left side only. I have had the mask and the simulator appointments, the mask is very tight and makes my jaw ache, this is because of the surgery, so I top up the painkillers before the appointments!
Treatment now starts on 3rd Feb.
This is the 3rd time my date has been changed,because of the hurried surgery, it is very frustrating as I have been preparing for these appointments only to have them changed. I just want it to start (That sounds strange,actually wanting the treatment!) but waiting is so much worse. You know what I mean.
I have an appointment at the skin camouflage clinic on Saturday so that will be interesting to see how they can hide these scars.

Love
Tracey

Wonderful news on your biopsy results Tracey - what a relief. You have enough to cope with just now. I know what you mean about the waiting - it drives you mad and your mind plays tricks on you. Still you have had some good news, so celebrate that! The 3rd will arrive before you know it! Brenda x

I hate the waiting, I have had this hanging over me for so long, and yes, your mind does play tricks on you. I am forever wondering how am I going to feel? what side effects/how bad will they be? I also don't like having to rely on people for help, I am an independant person always used to doing everything myself,I am becoming quite annoyed with myself coz I feel tired quite quickly, but I am told this is because I am not eating enough, so I don't have the strength ( its a catch 22 situation).
But hey! good news about the biobsy so look on the bright side.

A question for all of you, after radiotherapy how soon before you started feeling better? the reason I am asking is I am booked to go on holiday first two weeks of July,my treatment finnishes 17th March, I would hate to feel ill while on holiday, we are going with another family and wouldn't like to spoil it for everyone else.

love
Tracey

Really pleased to hear the biposy was ok Tracey.

The mask will probably get smaller as you lose weight which is frankly almost inevitable.

I think you may be well enough for your holiday. I finished rads mid Oct 2002 and although very poorly after and unable to work for months I did go to a party about 10 weeks later at new year and felt a lot better in myself generally all of a sudden.

Give it about 10 weeks rather than the 3 or 4 some doctors suggest and you'll start picking up. Of course I can't speak for the neck dissection as I had a comparitively smaller node surgery, but having had radiotherapy just about everywhere up top expect recovery to be weekly rather than daily.

I think that the neck dissection must be a horrid precodeure so that maybe radiotherapy won't seem so bad and as has been said before the effects build slowly so you notice it but its not suddenly zapp in one go.
You'll need though to get a sunhat in early and of course begin now to look forward to the holiday!

Tracey,

I am currently on my first 2 month holiday in California (my second home), started some 12 weeks after completion of radiotherapy. Of course, I did not suffer a dissection(?). Anyway, good luck and go for it!

Regards, Fridge

The friend who is coming on holiday is so excited about the holiday and keeps saying 'you'll be better for Lanzarote! and we'll have a great time' I hope so. Hopefully I will feel better by then.
I felt good yesterday,I even took the dog out a walk (short one though) I think she thought it was her birthday! poor thing hasn't had a walk for a while, she has been by my side permanently. I'll take her out to-day as I feel ok so far.
So Fridge hows California, and are you feeling ok?

Love
Tracey

Hi Tracey,

I am so glad you are excited about your holiday. I am sure you will enjoy Lanzarote which I am told is very nice. I enjoy the hinterland of Tenerife.

Looking forward to my own holidays following radiotherapy kept me bouyant. I had intended to visit California (Carmel Valley) a month after finishing treatment but cancelled after experiencing odd setbacks of feeling occasionally. I now know that would have been too early.

Following radiotherapy, while improving slowly I did experience odd days when I felt worse than others (I think this may be a general experience), however, the overall trend towards improvement was what mattered to me.

If your situation proves similar to mine you should be able to have a thoroughly enjoyable holiday. I do hope so!

Bon voyage, Fridge

PS. It is raining here as I type but that is very welcome. F

Well Fridge that is encouraging news, fingers crossed that I am fit and well.
The good thing is that it is an all inclusive holiday so I don't have to lift a finger
The food is buffet style so I can choose suitable food, probably won't have great appetite, but hey if nothing else at least I will look ok in my bikini

love
Tracey