Nah Cat scan is a doddle Ishbel although the drink you take before tastes a bit weird. I wrote it up on my webpages.

MRI was horrid by comparison, but the CAT scan was merely staying still each time they took a pic and you are technically out in the open, rather than enclosed as in the MRI. I can't recall now as its over 2 years ago but I think you do hold your breath and I think they flush a fluid through you via your wrist as they do a pic.

Mine took about 40 minutes if I recall.

Hi paul and Ishbel and all of you, I laughed so much at Paul's idea to wear the mask to the super market; whilst I was having my treatment with the mask ,I asked what happened to them, I was told that they are all thrown away; I had the bright idea of (although at the time I was exhausted and had little go in me) of collecting a whole load and getting Gary a mate( I look after his naughty springer spaniel called shadow, I recon he owes me) I wanted to get a huge board and apply the masks call it art work, a la Tracy Emmin and enter it for the Turner prize under the Title The Chagrin & The Pity Lets have some more ideas of what the masks can be used for ?????

Garance... I have my mask in a spare room sitting in the corner with a "Jimmy" wig on. That is a Scottish Tammy with ginger hair. It reminds me of the Invisible Man drunk on Hogmany.

Rosemary

Hi Rosemary, I have been dying to go North of the border, and come spring if am coping better with the foody thingy, will venture forward, at present I am unable to eat out; I am sure you know what I am talking about.
Where is Paul ???? Hope he has not gone of with Dr Who wearing his mask.

Hi Rosemary,
Just a quick question out of pure curiosity from a fellow Scot, where in Fife are you from?
I come from Alloa, near Stirling do you know the area?

Best Wishes
Tracey

Hello Garance...You will eventually have the confidence to eat out. I never stopped going into pubs and restaurants, just only ate soup. I have not gone through the trauma that most have endured, but it has made major changes on my eating habits. I can eat almost anything, but still don't have the confidence to eat red meat - not a problem. Come north of the border and sample haggis, then you will know you have a taste problem - only joking. I actually like haggis and neeps.

Tracey, I hope you are feeling a wee bit better, you have certainly been through a lot. You have my complete admiration for going through with the gig on hogmanay, don't think I could have done that. Bravo..

I come from a small village near St. Andrews, although I had my treatment in Ninewells Hospital, Dundee, where they have been excellent.

You can e-mail me at any time.

Kind thoughts

Rosemary

Tr

After this surgery (my 2nd neck disection) I have now noticed the problems I have read all of you talking about regarding the difficulty in eating . I can no longer eat normal everyday food which everyone takes for granted . Anything I eat sticks to the roof of my mouth and my teeth, then my tongue won't move to remove it, once it is dislodged with fluid it won't go down without a fight! My husband has been great, cooking for us, trying to think of something appetising for me, but I know I won't be able to eat it. Last nights dinner was great MASHED POTATOES AND GRAVY! I LOVED IT.
Tell me does it get any easier or do you just get used to it?
I received my first batch of ensure drinks yesterday, Is this my future? YUMMY!
Everyone keeps telling my I need to build myself up and put some weight on for my treatment, but how do you do it if you can't eat

I have been told now that I will need radiotherapy on both sides of my neck, I told the surgeon that I have resigned myself to the fact I will never sing again and whatever needs done, just do it. The surgery hasn't worked and this is my last chance. So I hope you guys will be there for all my questions and worries in the next few weeks.

Love to you all
Tracey

Hi Tracey
What's this rubbish about last chance!!!!No way, you keep fighting all the way.Loved the mask stories, sorry but i binned Paul's, couldn't stand to look at it after we found out that the radiotherapy hadn't worked. As for the eating, We just throw everything down the peg-causes quite a sensation in the pub when he has a bacardi & coke!He just finds it too difficult to manipulate food in his mouth, we did try loads of stuff like flavoured custards, trifles, smoothies etc.He was just told to try to eat anything with loads of calories, stick cream on everything. Thinking of you all, just want to say that when one of you is feeling low there are loads of people wanting to pick you up
Jennie

Hi Tracy and all the Brave's that enter this world of the would be foodies; I would love to get Gordon Ramsey and tell him what food is like when you have had half your throat ripped out, Dominque came over from France to look after me, she is a nurse friend from years ago, she tried her best to cook easy things for me to eat, some things were as though a salt celler has been emptied down my throat, courgettes were like tasting festering crab that had gone off, all tastes were totally deformed, I had never any feeling of hunger, made me feel a bit like a saint on a fast, pouring the odd ensure, and then wanting to throw up.Last summer I had this wild idea to have bread butter with black currant jam, a mere whim,that was a dangerous thing to do, one taste and I hit the ceiling, not only pain on tongue, roof of mouth, but the teeth were ablase with high energy pain. Just a few items of useless info that The outside this web world would fail to understand. Bear Hugs to Ye All who dare to enter Here.

Hi to everyone who enters!

Well the two of you didn't half give me a laugh with your posts THANK YOU.
I can always rely on this place to cheer me up and bring me back to reality when I feel a bit negative about things. As long as we can look on the funny side of our problems.

I have just had a great night, a couple of my band came through to visit me and we had a couple of drinks and because of my speach problems it sounded as though I had a bottle to myself and we had a good laugh about it, and for a couple of hours all the problems dissappeared and it was great. so I will leave you tonight on a happy note and speak to you all in the morning.

Love
Tracey

Well if I told you all what I was thinking every time The Mask was battered down on me at 9.30 every morning, as I lay there whilst all sorts of technical adjustments were going on, without a bit of spit and my tongue glued to the top of my mouth, I imagined a great black bear was lying over me, and he had come to heal me,this image I used as when I came home from hospital, I dreamed I was in a forest, and a huge black bear was standing clawing the air, the next night I dreamt that the bear was lying down beside me spoon fashion, so I went on a Native American website and asked them what it meant, and I was told in there beliefs The Bear is the healer; so each day I walked calmly to Rad with the image of a Bear and a wolf at my side, and shut my mind to all other people or things around me. I drank loads of fresh juice before I went and when I came back, but at the last lap I was unable to take the juice due to pain in the mouth. May sound a bit potty, but what the hell. BIG BEAR HEALING HUGS

Not been on for a couple of days, have been feeling unwell and spent most of my time in bed.
I feel bad just now what will I be like when the rads start? I have not had any time to recover its been surgery after surgery and now radio.
I am still having problems with eating and all family keep telling me I need to build my strength up, and I want to but I find it so difficult. ONLY YOU LOT TRULY UNDERTAND! I try and describe it to them.I know that this is why I am so weak and have dizzy spells but I have NO appetite.
Well the mould appointment wasn't as bad as I thought, and the people were very nice and explained everything they were doing. It was heavy and warm but not too bad, I was picking off plaster for the rest of the day though!
So back to the consultant on Monday, Radio-oligist on Tuesday & Thursday, this is my life now hospital appointments.
I have had so many flowers that my house looks like a florist shop, and the cards are very nice It just shows you how many people are thinking about you and it is very comforting. I have had gifts from my work aswell which was very nice of them.

Love to you all
Tracey

Tracey,

Here's hoping that you sail comfortably through the radiotherapy as some lucky ones do. You are so right about the problem of eating. What with no appetite and little taste it is an immense trial to consume day after day the required calorie intake to maintain weight, let alone increase it. It is a situation that one should experience to understand it. Hoping on your behalf.

Regards, Fridge

As you say Tracey our lives are hinged around hospital appointments. I am desperately trying avoid crowded places where everyone seems to have one virus or another, yet we spend so much of our time hanging around hospitals!!! Just want to send you loads of good wishes for next week and all your radio appointments. Keep us posted if you feel up to it. Love Brenda x

Thanks Brenda,
As they have removed my lymph nodes in my neck they warned me that I will catch flu, throat infections and to avoid coming in touch with anyone that has these, well I'm sorry how can you avoid that when I am in hospitals and doctors surgeries every other day!
I am just getting ready to leave for my appt. with the consultant, I also have an appt. with my GP this afternoon, I think I may have to reconsider my first thoughts on the antidepressants, I am feeling so down and tearful at the moment, and ANGRY! I have these horrible scars from one ear to the other, my bottom lip doesn't move, my speach is slurred and I can't eat. (BUT I HAVE TO KEEP POSITIVE)
I don't want to go on them again but I hate feeling like this, and I keep thinking I am going to be worse when the Rads start. John has been great and I don't want him to have to be walking on egg-shells around me.
I will see what the doc says today, maybe delay it again. What do you lot think, any advice?

Love
Tracey