Well had my 5th biopsy yesterday and I fel like s--t to be honest.
All the fears of what MIGHT happen have come back
I have what can be discribed only as a massive panic attack when having the biopsy done, I have never felt so bad but my mind was clear but my body was shaking and I thought my heart was going to explode
I have to wait a long time for my results as they are closed on the 6th july so have to wait until 13th July for results
I should be used to the wait but I cannot help thinking the worst as any sane person would
HOW DO I COPE THIS TIME :banghead:


Paul

PS just letting off steam
To make things worse I was so ANGRY the Doctor said """You should be used to it by now !"""

Hi Paul

Your doctor and nurse could have been more understanding. We all get anxious when having something done; even experienced actors get butterflies before the show! So that's normal. A panic/anxiety attack occurs when your body is extremely stressed and can no longer manage the stress. Your heart races, you start hyperventilating, your vision dims, you get dizzy. At the first sign of panic/anxiety, the key is to relax. You need techniques to calm yourself down. Here are the techniques that I have found helpful :


1. Deep Breathing: The human being was designed to inhale air through the nose. Our nostrils are first line of defense. They filter out particles of dust and dirt. Breathing through the nose also help us regulate a correct rhythm of breathing. Put one hand on your chest and the other on your stomach. Take a deep breath in through your nose and make the hand on your stomach move and the hand on your chest remain still. Takes a bit of practice, but with practice it gets easier. Take a deep breath in and hold it for a count of three. Then breathe it out through your mouth and count to five before taking the next deep breath. This prevents you from hyperventilating during an attack. You need to practice this breathing daily for at least ten minutes so that it becomes an automatic response. Eventually, it comes secondary in nature.

2. Muscle relaxation: Starting with your toes tighten the muscles for thirty seconds to one minute until they start to ache. Then completely relax the muscle group letting it go limp like spaghetti and repeat the process until you know how to relax the muscle. Repeat this with all the muscle groups- fingers, hands, arms, shoulders, neck, legs. Practice this relaxation daily. When a panic attack hits, you mentally check to see which muscles you have tensed up and then relax them.

3. Positive affirmations: The single most important point you can make about stress is that in most cases it's not what's out there that's the problem, it's how you react to it. How you react is determined by how you perceive a particular stress. The Chinese word for crisis is """weiji""". Two characters that separately mean danger and opportunity. Every problem we encounter in life can be viewed that way. It is a chance to show that we can handle it. Changing the way you think, can change a life of stress and discomfort to a life of challenge and excitement. Thinking about a success or a past achievement is excellent when you're feeling uncertain and stress. You are instantly reminded that you've achieved before, and there's no reason you shouldn't achieve this time. You should have a list of affirmations ready that you canstart repeating when you feel stressed. They don't have to be complicated. Just saying aloud """I can handle this""" to yourself or """Calm""" or """Peace""" will work. It pulls you away from the animal reflex to stress�the quick breathing, the cold hands�and toward the reasoned response, the intellect�the part of you that really can handle it. It's necessary to think these thoughts consciously because doing so automatically changes the mind-set that's producing the stress. If you're reciting an affirmation, you're not thinking about whatever bothers you.

4. Guardian Angel Visualisation: If you feel in need of protection, help is out there - all you need to do is ask! If you already have, visualise a specific deity or guardian spirit you believe in. ( If you don't have a 'guardian angel', you can start by thinking about what sort of being you would like to have around you and why - angel? god or goddess? Take some quiet time to do some visualisation and focus on an image makes you feel comfortable and safe.) Feel their warm presence at your shoulder - interested and beneficent. Mentally greet your guardian and make friends with him or her - be aware of the powers and energy he/she has, and then ask him/her to protect you. Do this whenever you feel you need help and reassurance.

You can contact your 'guardian angel' at any time - he/she is always there for you, in the spirit of mutual co-operation and understanding. (A guardian may become a permanent part of your life, or you may find that a guardian may appear in your life for a short time in order to deal with a specific situation and then leave when its task is done). Please remember to thank your guardian - first thing in the morning and last thing at night are ideal, as well as any time you have specifically called on him/her. This helps to maintain and strengthen your relationship with your guardian, and will help you to gain more inner self-confidence.

I hope you find these techniques helpful.

Best wishes
Vinod :coffee:

Hi Dr.Joshi

You are absolutely right Dr. Joshi� calling on your Guardian Angel. I had never thought about my Guardian since my Confirmation at Primary school. (It�s a wonder I can still remember that).

While I was undergoing Radiotherapy, at one session my husband was given the opportunity to watch the treatment. Afterwards he said he could not believe how calm I was. I said my Guardian Angel - St. Theresa - was there watching over me, I genuinely felt her presence.

The advice given to Paul was first class.

Take care

Rosemary

Mt Dearest Friend Paul, Your trip to the doctor. Lord here we go again,the waiting game begins, so what do we do with all this time on our hands,,,we sit and we watch time pass us by, or do we get up and try to enjoy the life we still do have. I want to enjoy the life I still have but it is so hard to do when the mind is so over come with fear and anger..That is the truth of it all,,Let it all out again, scream, yell, kick something, lol. Okay that is what I am going to do,,For I too am facing some more byopsies,,,and I don't quite know what to do either, but I can promise some of the above is in the game plan..Paul, my friend, may God be with you in the days to come, I will be there with u,as well, in my heart, my thougths, my prayers,, I am there,, Always, Vicki

Thanks Dr J and the rest of you guys,
Can only reiterate what I said earlier was fine when I went in and fine when I came out.
I cannot understand it?
All the fears of people staring at me are comming back with vengence the thing is they DO stare I am NOT paranoid and I have had some nasty things said to me it the street.
I all makes you feel DIFFERENT in this society and where do yo fit into it anymore.
I know people will laugh at me but thats the way I feel.
I thnik its time to say nO to anymore surgery no matter how small, my teeth in a terible mess but csn I risk another long bout of pain and uncertainty.
IF stress is a main factor in the big C then I am at big risk with all the problems the Radiotheray gave me mentally & physically

God Bless (goodnight Blanche)my gaurdian angel
Paul

Paul, I really don't like to hear you so down and beaten, tho I do understand your feeling that way. When is enough, enough with all this...when life is no more,,is that when it is enough. I found out today that a dear friend of mine had lost her fight with this deadly disease, she was only 30 years young, I have know this young lady for as long as I can remember..I am devastated and heartbroke by this..And shocked, the shock of it all is terrible..I talked with her mother and father today,my heart was so heavy, I didnt know if I could stand to hug them or not..AND I wonder why me?? Why her,,,so young with a 7 year old little boy wondering the same thing---why mommie..Paul please stay strong, please don't give up, until we have to, we don't have to yet...Please, we need you in our world,,,or I sure do...Always Vicki

Oh dear, Paul what can I say?

I'm only just trying to catch up on the many posting I must have missed.

'm still not firing on all cylinders. It's nothing to do with the Head & Neck but the problem I'm having with the pain in ribs and back mean I can't sit in one position for too long.

I read your very positive thing about surfing etc. I never had the guts for that (I'm frightened of deep(ish) water!) but many moons ago I did try the sand yachting thing. I was useless at it but boy did I enjoy.

But back to your current problem. You know you've faced up to, and overcome so much in the past that I'm not surprised that you're starting to wonder if it's all worth while.

Of course you're going to get depressed, have panic attacks and everything that goes with them. God, you wouldn't be normal if you didn't feel that way given what you have to cope with alone.

But the way you've coped with your problems in the past has, I'm sure, given strength to other people on this site. Do try and share your strength with others.

Must leave you now, God bless

thanks for your support guys

Paul

Dear Paul, Good luck with the biopsies. The awful sinking feeling before the results is worse than anything which follows I think. But it will pass. You will come through. You have good steady eyes which show you as a fine, tough man. I'm trying to think which male actor these eyes remind me of. Yes. Got it. Tom Hanks. Without his neuroses! (or money I expect!) Ishbel

ishbel, You cant be serious Tom Hanks !

:help:

Paul

Wow, our Paul is Tom Hanks,,,WOW,,,,I know a movie star,,YEAH!!!!!!!!!!

this one has NO money (donatiions accepted)

Paul